Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
