My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
