I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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