Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
