Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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