Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
