I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
