so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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