I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
