saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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