508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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