I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You are a genius and a whore.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
