I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
