I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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