HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
