bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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