there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
