saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
