so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
