super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize