I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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