honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
