420 ftw
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have fence marks all over my body
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
