Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
