I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize