i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wish there were birth control emojis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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