You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
