could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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