There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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