he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize