nut hugger
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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