Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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