you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize