Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
