i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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