I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
