I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
