Pants 0. Shit 1.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
