I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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