I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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