is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
