Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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