I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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