he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize