So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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