Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
