I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
