please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
