Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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