As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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