she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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