i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
