Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
