he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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