Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize