why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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